Diary Entry #1: L'insouciant

Who: L’insouciant (adj.): [in-sou-ci-ant] one who lives free of care or worry.

What: My moto. The word that helps me stay grounded. Reminds me to be myself and not get caught up, in all the crazy of life.

Where: Summer 2017, I was going out for drinks and dancing with friends. Went to pregame at a friend’s apartment by the beach. Sitting on the dark wooden table was a sailing magazine, with an open page. I picked it up so it wouldn’t get wet in alcohol. While everyone was flipping red cups; I grabbed a beer and sat on the denim couch by the window, to read. The open page was left on an article about a troubled French man. He bought a sail boat because he felt his best out in the open ocean. It was his safe place, where he felt relaxed without a worry. Named his little sail boat L’insouciant. Since then, I’ve been intrigued by this French word.

When: During this time of my life I was going through major life drama; not the good kind. Lots of false accusations, many wrong decisions, criticism, a major breakup, and broken friendships. I was in the process of letting go of all toxic things. Things and people that kept bringing me down. Very hard time for me. I was a ball of depression, anxiety, and worries. All of things I couldn’t control. I had just started making all new friends, meeting all new people, and living new experiences. All which have led me to be in a better place and an even better person. (I’ll be posting a separate blog on this topic in the future with further detail.)

Why: Ever since, I’ve wanted to be just like the little sail boat. Live free of care, anxiety, or worry. L’insouciant spoke to me so loudly, that day I sat on that denim couch in that apartment. Living the L’insouciant way has improved my way of living 110%. That’s not to say I don’t ever care about anything. I just try not to give a care about the unnecessary. We can only control ourselves, nothing and no one else.